Things I hate about being a mom

There are things I hate about being a mom. I know that I am breaking some unwritten code by saying this, but it is true. As a whole, I love being a mom and I love my two wonderful daughters, but as with any job, there are the downsides. These are the downsides of motherhood.

Poop and Pee. I hate cleaning up poop! I hated changing diapers (thank God they are potty trained now!) I hate the mess and the smell. I remember when I was pregnant with Krissy and Korey was only 8 months old. I used to throw up at almost every diaper change. During the potty training phase, I began to hate pee too because I was always cleaning it up off the floor and getting peed on by a little girl who couldn't hold it anymore. But the absolute worst is when they poop in their pants! I get infuriated! I just hate it. I usually have to tell the child to leave the room naked for fear that I will say something to them that I regret.

The repeating. If it's not me having to repeat a command to the girls over and over again, then it is one of them, repeating, over and over and over again, that they want something. "Mom, can I have some more milk? Mom, can I have some more milk? Mom, can I have some more milk?" It makes me want to change my name! They can be so impatient! I am not exaggerating when I say that she could ask for milk 50 times in the amount of time that it takes me to get up, walk to the fridge, pour the milk and be back at the table.

The blatant disobedience. When they know that they can't do something and they know they will get in trouble if they try and yet they do it anyway. What more do I have to say.

"But I want Mommy to do it!" Even when my husband or parents are around, sometimes they just want mommy. If you are not a mom, this seems endearing. Maybe even most moms think this is endearing, but for me, it usually just means another trip to the bathroom. Usually for the 5th or 6th time in the matter of 20 minutes. It was cute at first, when they wanted mommy to read them a story or help them with a puzzle. It's not so cute when it involves one of the above things.

The constant thought, "Am I doing this right?" I hate that I constantly second guess myself and my behavior when it comes to the girls. It isn't who I usually am. I am the type of person that will make a decision and stand behind it come what may, but when it comes to my children, I can't help but wonder and question every step. It's just such an important job, that I don't want to screw it up. In my previous life as a special event planner, before mommyhood, I would say to my coworkers and employees, "As long as a bomb doesn't go off in your venue, you probably had a successful event. We are planning parties, not life or death surgeries." But raising children feels much more like surgery than a party. It feels like life or death with almost every decision I make.

When I pray for my children, I often just thank God that He is ultimately in control of them and not me, and I pray that He will guide me and correct me when I go too far off the course. I pray for wisdom and discernment for myself and that I will truly live Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things."

The other night I asked for forgiveness for hating parts of my job as a mother, but the Lord, in His grace and wisdom, taught me something amazing. I looked at the things I hated in my job as a parent and saw that I have done all these things to Christ, my Father, many times. It is the process of growing up. The girls are simply growing up and all the things they are doing is a part of that process. With learning, comes messes and often disobedience. It's funny because I do not hate or resent my children in the slightest for the things that I don't like about my job, I know that this is what they must do to become strong, productive members of society.

And that is when it hit me. Why do I ever think that God is mad at me for the process of growing up? He knows I am not perfect, He made me that way! He even knows what mistakes I will make and the things that I will do (over and over) that are absolutely futile, yet He loves me, just as I love my girls, and He longs for the day when I will "get it" and not have to struggle anymore.

I guess the take home message is that when Jesus said blessed are the over comers, He knew the process would be long, hard, messy and even annoying at times, but He also knew just how worth it, it would be.