All creation cries out your Name
Singing glory hallelujah
when I feel the wind on my face
I am reminded of Your gentle power
And loving grace
Your strong Tower
and warm embrace
That you beg me to rest under Your wing
And bask in your true beauty and light
In Your presence I hear salvations ring
and see your promises become light
Although I am rebelious and immature
You are constant and pure
Your justice is tempered only by Your grace
And I am humbled and thankful to be allowed
a glimpse of Your face
Who am I that You would think of me?
And yet you call me precious and princess
Who and I that You would consider me?
And yet you died for me.
My king who washes His disciples feet
And willfully goes to the cross in percieved defeit
yet death has no sting
no victory
You hold the universe in one hand
and me in the other....me, You love
Me...You hear
Me...You save
What can I do but praise
What can I say but thank you
I rest at the foot of the cross
And in the shadow of Your wing
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
What Does a Christian Look Like?
I was asked this question about a month ago and I have been thinking abut it ever since. It's interesting because it can be so different. Here is my attempt to answer:
A Christian looks like me who grew up in a Christian home and yet strayed for many years, mired myself in a life of sin and then came broken and dirty to the foot of the cross. It also looks like my friend Jennie who has lived an amazing life of integrity, who has always known her self worth came from Christ Himself and was able to present herself pure to her husband on her wedding night. Or like Rich who did not grow up in a Christian home and yet had a God given knowledge in his soul that he there had to be more to life. A Christian also looks like my dear friend Ernie who died several years ago at the age of 35. He was plagued with an addiction to alcohol and although he tried to "kick the habit" was never able to do it.
A Christian can be in a nice suit with perfect hair singing hymns every Sunday or can be tattooed and pierced and rocking out to heavy metal. She can be calm and demure or loud and obnoxious. He can be a shrewed business man or an out of work construction worker. He can have a foul mouth or be an eloquent speaker. She can have it all together or be a complete disorganized mess.
The bottom line is being a Christian has nothing to do with who we are as a person. It isn't how we dress or how we were raised. It isn't what sins we commit and which demons we a conquered. Being a Christian has very little to do with me and everything to do with CHRIST! I have to do one thing to be a Christian: SURRENDER. He does the rest.
When it all comes down to it, working out my salvation doesn't mean I have to keep trying to be a better person, it means I have to keep surrendering more and more of my old sinful self to God who He can get rid of it and replace it with the new creation that He has allowed me to become through His grace and the gift of His Son.
Is a Christian perfect? NO - Christ is perfect!
A Christian looks like me who grew up in a Christian home and yet strayed for many years, mired myself in a life of sin and then came broken and dirty to the foot of the cross. It also looks like my friend Jennie who has lived an amazing life of integrity, who has always known her self worth came from Christ Himself and was able to present herself pure to her husband on her wedding night. Or like Rich who did not grow up in a Christian home and yet had a God given knowledge in his soul that he there had to be more to life. A Christian also looks like my dear friend Ernie who died several years ago at the age of 35. He was plagued with an addiction to alcohol and although he tried to "kick the habit" was never able to do it.
A Christian can be in a nice suit with perfect hair singing hymns every Sunday or can be tattooed and pierced and rocking out to heavy metal. She can be calm and demure or loud and obnoxious. He can be a shrewed business man or an out of work construction worker. He can have a foul mouth or be an eloquent speaker. She can have it all together or be a complete disorganized mess.
The bottom line is being a Christian has nothing to do with who we are as a person. It isn't how we dress or how we were raised. It isn't what sins we commit and which demons we a conquered. Being a Christian has very little to do with me and everything to do with CHRIST! I have to do one thing to be a Christian: SURRENDER. He does the rest.
When it all comes down to it, working out my salvation doesn't mean I have to keep trying to be a better person, it means I have to keep surrendering more and more of my old sinful self to God who He can get rid of it and replace it with the new creation that He has allowed me to become through His grace and the gift of His Son.
Is a Christian perfect? NO - Christ is perfect!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Pure Worship
God gave me a great gift the other day. I have been struggling lately that I haven't Felt the Holy Spirit during my prayer time lately. I know God is listening. I believe His word when He says that the Holy Spirit intercedes for me, but the "feeling" hadn't come in a while.
I was driving home in my car and Faith Hill's song "I can feel you breathe" came on the radio. I closed my eyes and sang it to God. It was an amazing, spirit filled moment. It did not require a big build up of 3 hours on my knees or an eloquent prayer. I was just suddenly in His throne room, feeling Him hold me and breathe His life giving breath on my shoulders. It was amazing and the exact thing I needed.
Thank you, God for meeting my every need, all the time.
I was driving home in my car and Faith Hill's song "I can feel you breathe" came on the radio. I closed my eyes and sang it to God. It was an amazing, spirit filled moment. It did not require a big build up of 3 hours on my knees or an eloquent prayer. I was just suddenly in His throne room, feeling Him hold me and breathe His life giving breath on my shoulders. It was amazing and the exact thing I needed.
Thank you, God for meeting my every need, all the time.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Random
I haven't posted in awhile so I am just putting a list of some things I have been thinking about.
1. Thanks to The Coffee Bar, I am slowly but surely drinking more caffeine every day. This is not a good thing!
2. Korey and Krissy are starting school. I have mixed emotions on this. I am glad to be back in a better routine and I know both girls are ready for school, but it means they are growing up. I don't mind that it means that I am getting older, but it scares me that they will have so many other influences in their lives now. I pray for the Lord's protection and for wisdom.
3. I can't wait for BSF to start. I am just not as diligent as I should be with bible study and quiet time without it.
4. I am scared to death about the idea of government run health care. What if Rich's cancer comes back? Will he get the care he needs in time?
5. God is teaching me to be present in the moment that I am in. By His grace, I am learning to not be anxious especially when things are beyond my control. The other day, Jennie and I locked the keys in the car and had to wait for AAA. I didn't get upset at all. As a matter of fact I laughed! And I am so happy for the time that Jennie and I got to sit on the hood of her car and just talk. We didn't talk about the Coffee Bar, church or even kids, we just talked and laughed. It was great. It ended up being a great gift of fellowship with a good friend. I think it's cool when He does that; gives us little detours from our plans to stop and invest in a friendship.
6. I think I am going to color my hair red.
7. I am so glad that my parents raised me to understand that Christianity isn't a heritage or a religion, but a relationship with Christ. I may not have always walked with the Lord, but I can't imagine not always knowing Him.
1. Thanks to The Coffee Bar, I am slowly but surely drinking more caffeine every day. This is not a good thing!
2. Korey and Krissy are starting school. I have mixed emotions on this. I am glad to be back in a better routine and I know both girls are ready for school, but it means they are growing up. I don't mind that it means that I am getting older, but it scares me that they will have so many other influences in their lives now. I pray for the Lord's protection and for wisdom.
3. I can't wait for BSF to start. I am just not as diligent as I should be with bible study and quiet time without it.
4. I am scared to death about the idea of government run health care. What if Rich's cancer comes back? Will he get the care he needs in time?
5. God is teaching me to be present in the moment that I am in. By His grace, I am learning to not be anxious especially when things are beyond my control. The other day, Jennie and I locked the keys in the car and had to wait for AAA. I didn't get upset at all. As a matter of fact I laughed! And I am so happy for the time that Jennie and I got to sit on the hood of her car and just talk. We didn't talk about the Coffee Bar, church or even kids, we just talked and laughed. It was great. It ended up being a great gift of fellowship with a good friend. I think it's cool when He does that; gives us little detours from our plans to stop and invest in a friendship.
6. I think I am going to color my hair red.
7. I am so glad that my parents raised me to understand that Christianity isn't a heritage or a religion, but a relationship with Christ. I may not have always walked with the Lord, but I can't imagine not always knowing Him.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Sleep
I have insomnia. It is not a fun thing to have. When I was in college it came in handy because it seems to increase when I am under stress so I was able to study for finals and still be fairly clear headed for the tests. That is the weird thing with insomnia, you aren't really tired the next day. I will be tired in a few days when this particular episode is over, but during the actual insomnia, not tired.
I am irritable though. Partly because I get frustrated because I so much want to sleep. I don't sleep and I am not tired but I don't get all the benefits of sleep, like increased patience, better perspective on life, that renewing that you get from sleep. So instead, it just feels like the end of a long day all the time, with all of those long day anxieties and irritability.
One thing that has helped has been to get up a pray during these times. I usually start my prayer with, "Well, since I am awake, God, I am holding you to the promise that says come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." He does give me rest, but ultimately, it is probably my sinful nature that causes my insomnia. God tells us not to be anxious for tomorrow and yet, here I am, being all anxious. He tells us that He has gone before us and worked out the details and yet I churn them over and over in my mind. I understand in my head that He is in control and not me, but I still try and control. I do what I know I shouldn't, then I get angry with myself for doing it, all the while continuing in the destructive behavior.
How do you move that head knowledge of God's competence and my complete lack of it the 18 inches south that it must travel to enter my heart and soul and truly start making a difference in how I live my life? I wish there was a formula. I wish I could just will it to be so. I know it has something to do with surrender. I know it's about leaning hard on God and not my own abilities. But what are the steps to get there?
Today, I don't have answers, just prayers. God, I so truly want to lean on you and not be anxious but I don't know how. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
I am irritable though. Partly because I get frustrated because I so much want to sleep. I don't sleep and I am not tired but I don't get all the benefits of sleep, like increased patience, better perspective on life, that renewing that you get from sleep. So instead, it just feels like the end of a long day all the time, with all of those long day anxieties and irritability.
One thing that has helped has been to get up a pray during these times. I usually start my prayer with, "Well, since I am awake, God, I am holding you to the promise that says come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." He does give me rest, but ultimately, it is probably my sinful nature that causes my insomnia. God tells us not to be anxious for tomorrow and yet, here I am, being all anxious. He tells us that He has gone before us and worked out the details and yet I churn them over and over in my mind. I understand in my head that He is in control and not me, but I still try and control. I do what I know I shouldn't, then I get angry with myself for doing it, all the while continuing in the destructive behavior.
How do you move that head knowledge of God's competence and my complete lack of it the 18 inches south that it must travel to enter my heart and soul and truly start making a difference in how I live my life? I wish there was a formula. I wish I could just will it to be so. I know it has something to do with surrender. I know it's about leaning hard on God and not my own abilities. But what are the steps to get there?
Today, I don't have answers, just prayers. God, I so truly want to lean on you and not be anxious but I don't know how. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Once Saved?
My pastor just gave a sermon answering the question: Can you lose your salvation? He said no, you can't. He sited a great deal from God's word to back up this answer. One of the reasons I like my pastor is because he says that it doesn't matter what we think, it matters what God thinks and what He says in His word.
I have had trouble with the "once saved always saved" philosophy in the past not because of what the bible says, but because of people. For example, what about Judas? Was he really saved? Did he go to heaven? And the biggest sticking point I have is my brother. When we were growing up, my brother seemed to have a genuine relationship with Christ. I saw the fruit of his relationship with Christ through his actions, his songs, he attended bible study and prayed. He would call me out when he thought I was going against God's word. As a matter of fact, he was the first person to ever tell me, "You know, you don't get to heaven just because mom and dad believe. You have to believe it and know it for yourself." But now my brother says that he doesn't see how anyone could be separate from God so therefore, he sees no need for a savior. Does this mean he never really believed in the first place or that he has "changed his mind?" We are human after all and we do change are minds on all kinds of things, does God permit mind changing? Isn't that part of free will?
However, I don't know how to reconcile that with things like the fact that we are a new creation in Christ. The old man passes away and the new man emerges. Once we are new, can we be old again? Once we are "born again," can you get unborn?
One thing that God has been teaching me recently is to come to Him with these kinds of questions and allow Him to reconcile them with His word. And truthfully, when I look at His word, I have no question. I believe that once a person is saved, and has a true salvation experience that it is impossible for them to turn from God even if we do have the free will to do so. How can you experience the Holy Spirit coursing through your soul and ever throw that away forever? Now, my past is full of years that were wasted by not following the Lord. I remember the day that I prayed and told God that I was tired of doing things His way and I wanted to try things my way for awhile, but even in my darkest, most selfish times, I still knew that God was real and that His Son had died for my petty little worthless life and if I were being really honest with myself (which I rarely did in that time) that I was simply spitting in His face and putting a high hand to the very one who gave me the free will to do so. But in that time, I never even once doubted that Jesus had died for my sins. If I had died during that time of my life, I do think I would have gone to heaven. I probably would be living in an outhouse and my heaven job would have been pooper scouper, but I know I would have made it.
I guess the thing is, we can't see inside anyone's heart. My brother's life shows no evidence of redemption but I have no idea what he thinks or believes in his soul. I don't know if he is putting a high hand to God and will one day repent as I did or if he simply wore Jesus like a suit earlier in his life and never really accepted Him as a personal Lord and Saviour. What I do know is my role and that is to pray for him and for all those who are not saved. God says he doesn't want anyone to perish and he says that the prayers of the saints will avail much. So therefore, I pray for Scott. No matter how long it takes, I pray. Even when I am angry with him and don't want to, I pray. And I am reminded of the awesomeness of a God who sacrificed so much for someone so worthless as me. I am also reminded that God can change the heart of anyone. He changed the heart of Saul, David, and countless others. He changed my heart, he can change a heart even as hard as my brother's.
Lord, you're a big God and I ask for big things. Soften the hearts of those who reject you. Draw them to Yourself. Bring true Hope to this country. Your will, not mine. Amen.
I have had trouble with the "once saved always saved" philosophy in the past not because of what the bible says, but because of people. For example, what about Judas? Was he really saved? Did he go to heaven? And the biggest sticking point I have is my brother. When we were growing up, my brother seemed to have a genuine relationship with Christ. I saw the fruit of his relationship with Christ through his actions, his songs, he attended bible study and prayed. He would call me out when he thought I was going against God's word. As a matter of fact, he was the first person to ever tell me, "You know, you don't get to heaven just because mom and dad believe. You have to believe it and know it for yourself." But now my brother says that he doesn't see how anyone could be separate from God so therefore, he sees no need for a savior. Does this mean he never really believed in the first place or that he has "changed his mind?" We are human after all and we do change are minds on all kinds of things, does God permit mind changing? Isn't that part of free will?
However, I don't know how to reconcile that with things like the fact that we are a new creation in Christ. The old man passes away and the new man emerges. Once we are new, can we be old again? Once we are "born again," can you get unborn?
One thing that God has been teaching me recently is to come to Him with these kinds of questions and allow Him to reconcile them with His word. And truthfully, when I look at His word, I have no question. I believe that once a person is saved, and has a true salvation experience that it is impossible for them to turn from God even if we do have the free will to do so. How can you experience the Holy Spirit coursing through your soul and ever throw that away forever? Now, my past is full of years that were wasted by not following the Lord. I remember the day that I prayed and told God that I was tired of doing things His way and I wanted to try things my way for awhile, but even in my darkest, most selfish times, I still knew that God was real and that His Son had died for my petty little worthless life and if I were being really honest with myself (which I rarely did in that time) that I was simply spitting in His face and putting a high hand to the very one who gave me the free will to do so. But in that time, I never even once doubted that Jesus had died for my sins. If I had died during that time of my life, I do think I would have gone to heaven. I probably would be living in an outhouse and my heaven job would have been pooper scouper, but I know I would have made it.
I guess the thing is, we can't see inside anyone's heart. My brother's life shows no evidence of redemption but I have no idea what he thinks or believes in his soul. I don't know if he is putting a high hand to God and will one day repent as I did or if he simply wore Jesus like a suit earlier in his life and never really accepted Him as a personal Lord and Saviour. What I do know is my role and that is to pray for him and for all those who are not saved. God says he doesn't want anyone to perish and he says that the prayers of the saints will avail much. So therefore, I pray for Scott. No matter how long it takes, I pray. Even when I am angry with him and don't want to, I pray. And I am reminded of the awesomeness of a God who sacrificed so much for someone so worthless as me. I am also reminded that God can change the heart of anyone. He changed the heart of Saul, David, and countless others. He changed my heart, he can change a heart even as hard as my brother's.
Lord, you're a big God and I ask for big things. Soften the hearts of those who reject you. Draw them to Yourself. Bring true Hope to this country. Your will, not mine. Amen.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Faith becomes sight
A friend of mine just died of cancer. We pretty much knew that this was coming, but that never ever makes it easier. I understand that she is no longer in pain and I rejoice at the fact that she is now with Jesus. That she no longer needs faith because she is in His presence and worshipping Him in His throne room. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. She no longer needs hope now that she sees Him face to face. Reading the book 90 Minutes in Heaven gave me a better perspective on the fact that death is really only sad for those who are left behind.
Her daughters are very young to lose their mother. They are in their early 20s which in my opinion may in fact be the time you need your mother the most. It is right around then that young head strong girls (like me) start to appreciate the wisdom and love that they receive from their moms. Suddenly, we realize that they really did know best all along and they really do only have their daughter's best interest at heart. I talk to my mom everyday. My world would be turned upside down if my mother was taken away from me.
That being said, I do not question God or His timing any longer. Who am I to do so? As it says is Job, was I there when He poured out the oceans or flung the stars from His hand? Do I know where He keeps the snow when it isn't falling from the sky? No, I don't. I do know that we are all appointed once to die and then judgement; and I know that Rhetta was in love with Jesus and covered by His blood; and I know that His grace is sufficient for all of us, including Hannah and Tiffany in this horrible time. I also know that God will replace the void in their hearts with Himself. HIMSELF! What an amazing gift to receive in a time of such suffering. In fact, in the end, isn't that what we all really want?
Hannah and Tiffany, I am praying daily that the Lord who comforts, strengthens and knows all will give you supernatural comfort, strength and rest in Him.
Her daughters are very young to lose their mother. They are in their early 20s which in my opinion may in fact be the time you need your mother the most. It is right around then that young head strong girls (like me) start to appreciate the wisdom and love that they receive from their moms. Suddenly, we realize that they really did know best all along and they really do only have their daughter's best interest at heart. I talk to my mom everyday. My world would be turned upside down if my mother was taken away from me.
That being said, I do not question God or His timing any longer. Who am I to do so? As it says is Job, was I there when He poured out the oceans or flung the stars from His hand? Do I know where He keeps the snow when it isn't falling from the sky? No, I don't. I do know that we are all appointed once to die and then judgement; and I know that Rhetta was in love with Jesus and covered by His blood; and I know that His grace is sufficient for all of us, including Hannah and Tiffany in this horrible time. I also know that God will replace the void in their hearts with Himself. HIMSELF! What an amazing gift to receive in a time of such suffering. In fact, in the end, isn't that what we all really want?
Hannah and Tiffany, I am praying daily that the Lord who comforts, strengthens and knows all will give you supernatural comfort, strength and rest in Him.
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