I woke up this morning with the wonderful song "For unto us a Child is born," in my head. I was blessed to be able to sing this song when I was in college and was a member of the Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra Choir, and that is always the version I hear in my head. It got me thinking about Jesus as a baby and how utterly amazing it is that God decided to enter the world this way.
The God of all creation chose to come into the world helpless, unable to even feed himself. Mary not only birthed him, (without an epidural, mind you!) but she also fed him, changed his diaper, rocked him to sleep when he was crying (And yes, despite the Christmas Carol, of course baby Jesus cried! It is not a sin to cry so why wouldn't he?). I will admit, I have control issues, but this is truly amazing: God gave up ALL control, even of His basic needs, so I started to think, why?
I believe everything Jesus did on earth was to teach or show us something. He could have simply come as a man, appeared on the scene and still lived a sinless life and died on the cross for our sins, but He chose to live a whole life, why? What do we learn from this?
1. Dependency - God asks us for complete dependency. He says, "die to yourself, and give me everything. Trust me completely with everything you are and want to do with your life." I think that is somehow easier to take from someone who understands the feeling of letting go all control. He also let go all control on the cross, but maybe His earthly body was better able to do that because He had practiced as a child. Which is my second point,
2. Practice - The hard things usually do take practice. A good athlete doesn't get to be good without a lot of practice. Look at Gideon. It took him a lot of practice to get to the point where he could just obey God without question. If Jesus was fully God AND fully man when He walked on earth, then I would think that getting Himself to the cross in complete obedience and letting go of all control would take practice. He often says in the book of John that He can only do the will of the one who sent Him. That kind of obedience and dependency takes practice.
3. Connection through shared experience - I have noticed that if I am trying to get to know someone better and get to point of true friendship that it comes easier with shared experiences. If we have both been to Yosemite or have both done the same embarrassing thing, it is somehow easier to then get deeper with that person. Maybe this is why God came as a baby too. I mean, seriously, He's God. He already knows every human experience and emotion without having to experience them in the flesh, but I somehow feel better praying to Jesus about my temptations, fears and struggles knowing He has felt them in the flesh. Maye just because my finite mind can't wrap around the infiniteness (probably not a real word) of God, but even so, I am comforted by Christ's humanness.
The fact that Jesus was a baby, helpless and fully dependant is convicting for me. Who am I to try and control anything? Jesus later says that to be the greatest in heaven, you must be the least. He was born to a poor family, in a stable, laid in a feeding troth. He grew up and died a criminal's death. He truly was the least and He truly is the greatest.
"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulder. And His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6
Merry Christmas
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My song of praise
All creation cries out your Name
Singing glory hallelujah
when I feel the wind on my face
I am reminded of Your gentle power
And loving grace
Your strong Tower
and warm embrace
That you beg me to rest under Your wing
And bask in your true beauty and light
In Your presence I hear salvations ring
and see your promises become light
Although I am rebelious and immature
You are constant and pure
Your justice is tempered only by Your grace
And I am humbled and thankful to be allowed
a glimpse of Your face
Who am I that You would think of me?
And yet you call me precious and princess
Who and I that You would consider me?
And yet you died for me.
My king who washes His disciples feet
And willfully goes to the cross in percieved defeit
yet death has no sting
no victory
You hold the universe in one hand
and me in the other....me, You love
Me...You hear
Me...You save
What can I do but praise
What can I say but thank you
I rest at the foot of the cross
And in the shadow of Your wing
Singing glory hallelujah
when I feel the wind on my face
I am reminded of Your gentle power
And loving grace
Your strong Tower
and warm embrace
That you beg me to rest under Your wing
And bask in your true beauty and light
In Your presence I hear salvations ring
and see your promises become light
Although I am rebelious and immature
You are constant and pure
Your justice is tempered only by Your grace
And I am humbled and thankful to be allowed
a glimpse of Your face
Who am I that You would think of me?
And yet you call me precious and princess
Who and I that You would consider me?
And yet you died for me.
My king who washes His disciples feet
And willfully goes to the cross in percieved defeit
yet death has no sting
no victory
You hold the universe in one hand
and me in the other....me, You love
Me...You hear
Me...You save
What can I do but praise
What can I say but thank you
I rest at the foot of the cross
And in the shadow of Your wing
Monday, August 17, 2009
What Does a Christian Look Like?
I was asked this question about a month ago and I have been thinking abut it ever since. It's interesting because it can be so different. Here is my attempt to answer:
A Christian looks like me who grew up in a Christian home and yet strayed for many years, mired myself in a life of sin and then came broken and dirty to the foot of the cross. It also looks like my friend Jennie who has lived an amazing life of integrity, who has always known her self worth came from Christ Himself and was able to present herself pure to her husband on her wedding night. Or like Rich who did not grow up in a Christian home and yet had a God given knowledge in his soul that he there had to be more to life. A Christian also looks like my dear friend Ernie who died several years ago at the age of 35. He was plagued with an addiction to alcohol and although he tried to "kick the habit" was never able to do it.
A Christian can be in a nice suit with perfect hair singing hymns every Sunday or can be tattooed and pierced and rocking out to heavy metal. She can be calm and demure or loud and obnoxious. He can be a shrewed business man or an out of work construction worker. He can have a foul mouth or be an eloquent speaker. She can have it all together or be a complete disorganized mess.
The bottom line is being a Christian has nothing to do with who we are as a person. It isn't how we dress or how we were raised. It isn't what sins we commit and which demons we a conquered. Being a Christian has very little to do with me and everything to do with CHRIST! I have to do one thing to be a Christian: SURRENDER. He does the rest.
When it all comes down to it, working out my salvation doesn't mean I have to keep trying to be a better person, it means I have to keep surrendering more and more of my old sinful self to God who He can get rid of it and replace it with the new creation that He has allowed me to become through His grace and the gift of His Son.
Is a Christian perfect? NO - Christ is perfect!
A Christian looks like me who grew up in a Christian home and yet strayed for many years, mired myself in a life of sin and then came broken and dirty to the foot of the cross. It also looks like my friend Jennie who has lived an amazing life of integrity, who has always known her self worth came from Christ Himself and was able to present herself pure to her husband on her wedding night. Or like Rich who did not grow up in a Christian home and yet had a God given knowledge in his soul that he there had to be more to life. A Christian also looks like my dear friend Ernie who died several years ago at the age of 35. He was plagued with an addiction to alcohol and although he tried to "kick the habit" was never able to do it.
A Christian can be in a nice suit with perfect hair singing hymns every Sunday or can be tattooed and pierced and rocking out to heavy metal. She can be calm and demure or loud and obnoxious. He can be a shrewed business man or an out of work construction worker. He can have a foul mouth or be an eloquent speaker. She can have it all together or be a complete disorganized mess.
The bottom line is being a Christian has nothing to do with who we are as a person. It isn't how we dress or how we were raised. It isn't what sins we commit and which demons we a conquered. Being a Christian has very little to do with me and everything to do with CHRIST! I have to do one thing to be a Christian: SURRENDER. He does the rest.
When it all comes down to it, working out my salvation doesn't mean I have to keep trying to be a better person, it means I have to keep surrendering more and more of my old sinful self to God who He can get rid of it and replace it with the new creation that He has allowed me to become through His grace and the gift of His Son.
Is a Christian perfect? NO - Christ is perfect!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Pure Worship
God gave me a great gift the other day. I have been struggling lately that I haven't Felt the Holy Spirit during my prayer time lately. I know God is listening. I believe His word when He says that the Holy Spirit intercedes for me, but the "feeling" hadn't come in a while.
I was driving home in my car and Faith Hill's song "I can feel you breathe" came on the radio. I closed my eyes and sang it to God. It was an amazing, spirit filled moment. It did not require a big build up of 3 hours on my knees or an eloquent prayer. I was just suddenly in His throne room, feeling Him hold me and breathe His life giving breath on my shoulders. It was amazing and the exact thing I needed.
Thank you, God for meeting my every need, all the time.
I was driving home in my car and Faith Hill's song "I can feel you breathe" came on the radio. I closed my eyes and sang it to God. It was an amazing, spirit filled moment. It did not require a big build up of 3 hours on my knees or an eloquent prayer. I was just suddenly in His throne room, feeling Him hold me and breathe His life giving breath on my shoulders. It was amazing and the exact thing I needed.
Thank you, God for meeting my every need, all the time.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Random
I haven't posted in awhile so I am just putting a list of some things I have been thinking about.
1. Thanks to The Coffee Bar, I am slowly but surely drinking more caffeine every day. This is not a good thing!
2. Korey and Krissy are starting school. I have mixed emotions on this. I am glad to be back in a better routine and I know both girls are ready for school, but it means they are growing up. I don't mind that it means that I am getting older, but it scares me that they will have so many other influences in their lives now. I pray for the Lord's protection and for wisdom.
3. I can't wait for BSF to start. I am just not as diligent as I should be with bible study and quiet time without it.
4. I am scared to death about the idea of government run health care. What if Rich's cancer comes back? Will he get the care he needs in time?
5. God is teaching me to be present in the moment that I am in. By His grace, I am learning to not be anxious especially when things are beyond my control. The other day, Jennie and I locked the keys in the car and had to wait for AAA. I didn't get upset at all. As a matter of fact I laughed! And I am so happy for the time that Jennie and I got to sit on the hood of her car and just talk. We didn't talk about the Coffee Bar, church or even kids, we just talked and laughed. It was great. It ended up being a great gift of fellowship with a good friend. I think it's cool when He does that; gives us little detours from our plans to stop and invest in a friendship.
6. I think I am going to color my hair red.
7. I am so glad that my parents raised me to understand that Christianity isn't a heritage or a religion, but a relationship with Christ. I may not have always walked with the Lord, but I can't imagine not always knowing Him.
1. Thanks to The Coffee Bar, I am slowly but surely drinking more caffeine every day. This is not a good thing!
2. Korey and Krissy are starting school. I have mixed emotions on this. I am glad to be back in a better routine and I know both girls are ready for school, but it means they are growing up. I don't mind that it means that I am getting older, but it scares me that they will have so many other influences in their lives now. I pray for the Lord's protection and for wisdom.
3. I can't wait for BSF to start. I am just not as diligent as I should be with bible study and quiet time without it.
4. I am scared to death about the idea of government run health care. What if Rich's cancer comes back? Will he get the care he needs in time?
5. God is teaching me to be present in the moment that I am in. By His grace, I am learning to not be anxious especially when things are beyond my control. The other day, Jennie and I locked the keys in the car and had to wait for AAA. I didn't get upset at all. As a matter of fact I laughed! And I am so happy for the time that Jennie and I got to sit on the hood of her car and just talk. We didn't talk about the Coffee Bar, church or even kids, we just talked and laughed. It was great. It ended up being a great gift of fellowship with a good friend. I think it's cool when He does that; gives us little detours from our plans to stop and invest in a friendship.
6. I think I am going to color my hair red.
7. I am so glad that my parents raised me to understand that Christianity isn't a heritage or a religion, but a relationship with Christ. I may not have always walked with the Lord, but I can't imagine not always knowing Him.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Sleep
I have insomnia. It is not a fun thing to have. When I was in college it came in handy because it seems to increase when I am under stress so I was able to study for finals and still be fairly clear headed for the tests. That is the weird thing with insomnia, you aren't really tired the next day. I will be tired in a few days when this particular episode is over, but during the actual insomnia, not tired.
I am irritable though. Partly because I get frustrated because I so much want to sleep. I don't sleep and I am not tired but I don't get all the benefits of sleep, like increased patience, better perspective on life, that renewing that you get from sleep. So instead, it just feels like the end of a long day all the time, with all of those long day anxieties and irritability.
One thing that has helped has been to get up a pray during these times. I usually start my prayer with, "Well, since I am awake, God, I am holding you to the promise that says come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." He does give me rest, but ultimately, it is probably my sinful nature that causes my insomnia. God tells us not to be anxious for tomorrow and yet, here I am, being all anxious. He tells us that He has gone before us and worked out the details and yet I churn them over and over in my mind. I understand in my head that He is in control and not me, but I still try and control. I do what I know I shouldn't, then I get angry with myself for doing it, all the while continuing in the destructive behavior.
How do you move that head knowledge of God's competence and my complete lack of it the 18 inches south that it must travel to enter my heart and soul and truly start making a difference in how I live my life? I wish there was a formula. I wish I could just will it to be so. I know it has something to do with surrender. I know it's about leaning hard on God and not my own abilities. But what are the steps to get there?
Today, I don't have answers, just prayers. God, I so truly want to lean on you and not be anxious but I don't know how. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
I am irritable though. Partly because I get frustrated because I so much want to sleep. I don't sleep and I am not tired but I don't get all the benefits of sleep, like increased patience, better perspective on life, that renewing that you get from sleep. So instead, it just feels like the end of a long day all the time, with all of those long day anxieties and irritability.
One thing that has helped has been to get up a pray during these times. I usually start my prayer with, "Well, since I am awake, God, I am holding you to the promise that says come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." He does give me rest, but ultimately, it is probably my sinful nature that causes my insomnia. God tells us not to be anxious for tomorrow and yet, here I am, being all anxious. He tells us that He has gone before us and worked out the details and yet I churn them over and over in my mind. I understand in my head that He is in control and not me, but I still try and control. I do what I know I shouldn't, then I get angry with myself for doing it, all the while continuing in the destructive behavior.
How do you move that head knowledge of God's competence and my complete lack of it the 18 inches south that it must travel to enter my heart and soul and truly start making a difference in how I live my life? I wish there was a formula. I wish I could just will it to be so. I know it has something to do with surrender. I know it's about leaning hard on God and not my own abilities. But what are the steps to get there?
Today, I don't have answers, just prayers. God, I so truly want to lean on you and not be anxious but I don't know how. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Once Saved?
My pastor just gave a sermon answering the question: Can you lose your salvation? He said no, you can't. He sited a great deal from God's word to back up this answer. One of the reasons I like my pastor is because he says that it doesn't matter what we think, it matters what God thinks and what He says in His word.
I have had trouble with the "once saved always saved" philosophy in the past not because of what the bible says, but because of people. For example, what about Judas? Was he really saved? Did he go to heaven? And the biggest sticking point I have is my brother. When we were growing up, my brother seemed to have a genuine relationship with Christ. I saw the fruit of his relationship with Christ through his actions, his songs, he attended bible study and prayed. He would call me out when he thought I was going against God's word. As a matter of fact, he was the first person to ever tell me, "You know, you don't get to heaven just because mom and dad believe. You have to believe it and know it for yourself." But now my brother says that he doesn't see how anyone could be separate from God so therefore, he sees no need for a savior. Does this mean he never really believed in the first place or that he has "changed his mind?" We are human after all and we do change are minds on all kinds of things, does God permit mind changing? Isn't that part of free will?
However, I don't know how to reconcile that with things like the fact that we are a new creation in Christ. The old man passes away and the new man emerges. Once we are new, can we be old again? Once we are "born again," can you get unborn?
One thing that God has been teaching me recently is to come to Him with these kinds of questions and allow Him to reconcile them with His word. And truthfully, when I look at His word, I have no question. I believe that once a person is saved, and has a true salvation experience that it is impossible for them to turn from God even if we do have the free will to do so. How can you experience the Holy Spirit coursing through your soul and ever throw that away forever? Now, my past is full of years that were wasted by not following the Lord. I remember the day that I prayed and told God that I was tired of doing things His way and I wanted to try things my way for awhile, but even in my darkest, most selfish times, I still knew that God was real and that His Son had died for my petty little worthless life and if I were being really honest with myself (which I rarely did in that time) that I was simply spitting in His face and putting a high hand to the very one who gave me the free will to do so. But in that time, I never even once doubted that Jesus had died for my sins. If I had died during that time of my life, I do think I would have gone to heaven. I probably would be living in an outhouse and my heaven job would have been pooper scouper, but I know I would have made it.
I guess the thing is, we can't see inside anyone's heart. My brother's life shows no evidence of redemption but I have no idea what he thinks or believes in his soul. I don't know if he is putting a high hand to God and will one day repent as I did or if he simply wore Jesus like a suit earlier in his life and never really accepted Him as a personal Lord and Saviour. What I do know is my role and that is to pray for him and for all those who are not saved. God says he doesn't want anyone to perish and he says that the prayers of the saints will avail much. So therefore, I pray for Scott. No matter how long it takes, I pray. Even when I am angry with him and don't want to, I pray. And I am reminded of the awesomeness of a God who sacrificed so much for someone so worthless as me. I am also reminded that God can change the heart of anyone. He changed the heart of Saul, David, and countless others. He changed my heart, he can change a heart even as hard as my brother's.
Lord, you're a big God and I ask for big things. Soften the hearts of those who reject you. Draw them to Yourself. Bring true Hope to this country. Your will, not mine. Amen.
I have had trouble with the "once saved always saved" philosophy in the past not because of what the bible says, but because of people. For example, what about Judas? Was he really saved? Did he go to heaven? And the biggest sticking point I have is my brother. When we were growing up, my brother seemed to have a genuine relationship with Christ. I saw the fruit of his relationship with Christ through his actions, his songs, he attended bible study and prayed. He would call me out when he thought I was going against God's word. As a matter of fact, he was the first person to ever tell me, "You know, you don't get to heaven just because mom and dad believe. You have to believe it and know it for yourself." But now my brother says that he doesn't see how anyone could be separate from God so therefore, he sees no need for a savior. Does this mean he never really believed in the first place or that he has "changed his mind?" We are human after all and we do change are minds on all kinds of things, does God permit mind changing? Isn't that part of free will?
However, I don't know how to reconcile that with things like the fact that we are a new creation in Christ. The old man passes away and the new man emerges. Once we are new, can we be old again? Once we are "born again," can you get unborn?
One thing that God has been teaching me recently is to come to Him with these kinds of questions and allow Him to reconcile them with His word. And truthfully, when I look at His word, I have no question. I believe that once a person is saved, and has a true salvation experience that it is impossible for them to turn from God even if we do have the free will to do so. How can you experience the Holy Spirit coursing through your soul and ever throw that away forever? Now, my past is full of years that were wasted by not following the Lord. I remember the day that I prayed and told God that I was tired of doing things His way and I wanted to try things my way for awhile, but even in my darkest, most selfish times, I still knew that God was real and that His Son had died for my petty little worthless life and if I were being really honest with myself (which I rarely did in that time) that I was simply spitting in His face and putting a high hand to the very one who gave me the free will to do so. But in that time, I never even once doubted that Jesus had died for my sins. If I had died during that time of my life, I do think I would have gone to heaven. I probably would be living in an outhouse and my heaven job would have been pooper scouper, but I know I would have made it.
I guess the thing is, we can't see inside anyone's heart. My brother's life shows no evidence of redemption but I have no idea what he thinks or believes in his soul. I don't know if he is putting a high hand to God and will one day repent as I did or if he simply wore Jesus like a suit earlier in his life and never really accepted Him as a personal Lord and Saviour. What I do know is my role and that is to pray for him and for all those who are not saved. God says he doesn't want anyone to perish and he says that the prayers of the saints will avail much. So therefore, I pray for Scott. No matter how long it takes, I pray. Even when I am angry with him and don't want to, I pray. And I am reminded of the awesomeness of a God who sacrificed so much for someone so worthless as me. I am also reminded that God can change the heart of anyone. He changed the heart of Saul, David, and countless others. He changed my heart, he can change a heart even as hard as my brother's.
Lord, you're a big God and I ask for big things. Soften the hearts of those who reject you. Draw them to Yourself. Bring true Hope to this country. Your will, not mine. Amen.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Faith becomes sight
A friend of mine just died of cancer. We pretty much knew that this was coming, but that never ever makes it easier. I understand that she is no longer in pain and I rejoice at the fact that she is now with Jesus. That she no longer needs faith because she is in His presence and worshipping Him in His throne room. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. She no longer needs hope now that she sees Him face to face. Reading the book 90 Minutes in Heaven gave me a better perspective on the fact that death is really only sad for those who are left behind.
Her daughters are very young to lose their mother. They are in their early 20s which in my opinion may in fact be the time you need your mother the most. It is right around then that young head strong girls (like me) start to appreciate the wisdom and love that they receive from their moms. Suddenly, we realize that they really did know best all along and they really do only have their daughter's best interest at heart. I talk to my mom everyday. My world would be turned upside down if my mother was taken away from me.
That being said, I do not question God or His timing any longer. Who am I to do so? As it says is Job, was I there when He poured out the oceans or flung the stars from His hand? Do I know where He keeps the snow when it isn't falling from the sky? No, I don't. I do know that we are all appointed once to die and then judgement; and I know that Rhetta was in love with Jesus and covered by His blood; and I know that His grace is sufficient for all of us, including Hannah and Tiffany in this horrible time. I also know that God will replace the void in their hearts with Himself. HIMSELF! What an amazing gift to receive in a time of such suffering. In fact, in the end, isn't that what we all really want?
Hannah and Tiffany, I am praying daily that the Lord who comforts, strengthens and knows all will give you supernatural comfort, strength and rest in Him.
Her daughters are very young to lose their mother. They are in their early 20s which in my opinion may in fact be the time you need your mother the most. It is right around then that young head strong girls (like me) start to appreciate the wisdom and love that they receive from their moms. Suddenly, we realize that they really did know best all along and they really do only have their daughter's best interest at heart. I talk to my mom everyday. My world would be turned upside down if my mother was taken away from me.
That being said, I do not question God or His timing any longer. Who am I to do so? As it says is Job, was I there when He poured out the oceans or flung the stars from His hand? Do I know where He keeps the snow when it isn't falling from the sky? No, I don't. I do know that we are all appointed once to die and then judgement; and I know that Rhetta was in love with Jesus and covered by His blood; and I know that His grace is sufficient for all of us, including Hannah and Tiffany in this horrible time. I also know that God will replace the void in their hearts with Himself. HIMSELF! What an amazing gift to receive in a time of such suffering. In fact, in the end, isn't that what we all really want?
Hannah and Tiffany, I am praying daily that the Lord who comforts, strengthens and knows all will give you supernatural comfort, strength and rest in Him.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
This Week's grocery bill was $39.58!
Yes, that's right. I bought a weeks worth of groceries for under $40. Actually, it is more than a weeks worth because I stocked up on a few items that were on sale, and I had coupons for. Several people have asked me about my coupon system so I thought I would blog about it so you can see what I do. It doesn't take alot of time or energy and I save about 50% off my bill each week.
1. I start with buying 2 Sunday papers each week. If I happen to be going to my parents' house on Saturday, I will buy my papers from one of the people who sell it for $1 along highway 41 right around the Super Target and the Kohl's. Otherwise, I buy it on Sunday when you can get 2 papers for $2.50.
2. I take out the coupons and use a sharpie marker to write the date on them and then I stack my coupon booklets up in my desk. If you have coupons that you have saved and don't know the date that they came out, check the fine print on the "spine" of the booklet, it will list the date that they were issued.
3. I usually shop on Monday or Tuesday. The night before I shop, I look at the ads for Publix and Kroger and see what they have on sale, especially for meats. I like to look at the ads because the pictures help me get an idea of what I want to cook that week.
4. With my mental list a a couple things that I want to make for that week for dinner, I go to the computer and go to couponmom.com. I go to the grocery deals by state tab and then go to either Publix or Kroger deals in Georgia. I find that I usually save more money at Kroger, but I do end up going to Publix about once a month depending on what they have on sale, especially buy one get one free. The grocery deals list shows everything that is on sale that week and lists out any coupons that go with that item. For example: This week Kroger has Barilla Whole Grain pasta one sale for $1 per box. The Mar. 29 issue of Smartsource coupons had a 50 cent coupon for Barilla Whole Grain pasta. Kroger doubles coupons up to 50 cents, so I got the pasta for free. Since I get more than one Sunday paper, I had 2 coupons, so I got 2 boxes of pasta for free.
5. Once I have looked at the whole list of sale items and coupons, I plan my meals for the week and then use this list as my new grocery list. I check all the things I need for my weeks menu and then print it out. I then go to my stack of coupons and only cut out the ones I need. I paperclip them to my printout and go to the store.
Here is my real life example from this week. My dinner Menu for this week is this:
Monday - Pizza night - I already had Tombstone frozen pizza in the freezer that I bought for $3 a piece last week at Publix.
Tuesday - Pasta with ham, peas and fire roasted tomatoes - I am using my free pasta, leftover ham, peas from the freezer and a can of fire roasted tomatoes all of which I bought on sale and stocked up, just like I stocked up on the pasta this week. I actually found enough coupons to get 8 boxes of free pasta.
Wednesday - Tuna casserole (We actually LOVE Tuna cass!) - I bought a 16 oz block of cheese for $2.50 and No-Yoke egg noodles for 50 cents because they were on sale and I had a coupon. I already have tuna and cream of mushroom soup from a previous shopping trip when they were on sale and I had coupons for them (do you see a trend happening:).
Thursday - Asian Sesame Chicken with broccoli and rice - Tyson all natural chicken is on sale for $1.99 per pound and I got the Lawry's Marinades for 50 cents a bottle because they were on sale and I had a coupon. I bought 2 bottles because I had 2 coupons so I will have it in my pantry for later as well. Broccoli crowns were on sale and I had 3 50 cent coupons for Mahatma rice, which was on sale for $1.09 each so I got 3 bags for 9 cents each.
Friday - Grill out Polish sausages - Carolina Pride products are buy 1 get 1 free and I had a coupon so I bought 2 packages of sausages to grill out. I have onions in the pantry to grill with these and buns in the freezers. I also have 2 sweet potatoes left form last week so I will put those on the grill also.
Saturday - Leftover day (i don't like to cook on Saturdays)
Sunday - Baked Potato Bar - A 10 lb bag of potatoes was $3.99. Cour cream was $1 for a 16 oz tub and I bought a pack of Carolina Pride bacon (just because it is buy 1 get 1 doesn't mean you have to buy 2. At Kroger and at Publix, you can just buy one item for half price.) I will have cheese left from the 16 oz bar that I bought and I have canned chili from a previous shopping trip. I will probably have enough broccoli left from Asian Chicken night to have that on the bar as well.
Breakfast - I got 2 boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats for $1.18 per box. On sale and I had coupons.
Lunch - Bread for $1.49. The Kroger Whole grain wheat bread uses very little sugar and uses whole grain and it's cheap. Skippy Natural Peanut Butter was $1.70 per jar because I had a coupon and on sale. I got 2 jars. We will also have leftovers from the night before's dinner.
Snacks - Tortilla chips were on sale for $1 a bag so I got 2 and salsa was on sale for $1 a jar also. I got the Kroger brand for both of these only because I know that I like the Kroger brand of salsa. I got bananas, they are always cheap and my girls love them.
In addition to this, I also bought milk, fresh tomatoes, 5 Suave deodorants for free, 3 McCormick Grill Mates seasoning for free, 2 boxes of 10 pk Capri Sun drinks for 79 cents a box, and I got a rain check for Angel soft bath tissue, which I will get for free next week because I have the coupons and they are on sale.
o that's how I was able to get more than a weeks worth of groceries for under $40. It takes me less than a hour to plan my meals for the week, print my list and clip my coupons. Considering this week, I saved $68.84, it's like I got paid $68 for that hour that I spent planning. I would say that it worth it!
If you have questions about my coupon system, then please comment! I will answer it the best I can.
1. I start with buying 2 Sunday papers each week. If I happen to be going to my parents' house on Saturday, I will buy my papers from one of the people who sell it for $1 along highway 41 right around the Super Target and the Kohl's. Otherwise, I buy it on Sunday when you can get 2 papers for $2.50.
2. I take out the coupons and use a sharpie marker to write the date on them and then I stack my coupon booklets up in my desk. If you have coupons that you have saved and don't know the date that they came out, check the fine print on the "spine" of the booklet, it will list the date that they were issued.
3. I usually shop on Monday or Tuesday. The night before I shop, I look at the ads for Publix and Kroger and see what they have on sale, especially for meats. I like to look at the ads because the pictures help me get an idea of what I want to cook that week.
4. With my mental list a a couple things that I want to make for that week for dinner, I go to the computer and go to couponmom.com. I go to the grocery deals by state tab and then go to either Publix or Kroger deals in Georgia. I find that I usually save more money at Kroger, but I do end up going to Publix about once a month depending on what they have on sale, especially buy one get one free. The grocery deals list shows everything that is on sale that week and lists out any coupons that go with that item. For example: This week Kroger has Barilla Whole Grain pasta one sale for $1 per box. The Mar. 29 issue of Smartsource coupons had a 50 cent coupon for Barilla Whole Grain pasta. Kroger doubles coupons up to 50 cents, so I got the pasta for free. Since I get more than one Sunday paper, I had 2 coupons, so I got 2 boxes of pasta for free.
5. Once I have looked at the whole list of sale items and coupons, I plan my meals for the week and then use this list as my new grocery list. I check all the things I need for my weeks menu and then print it out. I then go to my stack of coupons and only cut out the ones I need. I paperclip them to my printout and go to the store.
Here is my real life example from this week. My dinner Menu for this week is this:
Monday - Pizza night - I already had Tombstone frozen pizza in the freezer that I bought for $3 a piece last week at Publix.
Tuesday - Pasta with ham, peas and fire roasted tomatoes - I am using my free pasta, leftover ham, peas from the freezer and a can of fire roasted tomatoes all of which I bought on sale and stocked up, just like I stocked up on the pasta this week. I actually found enough coupons to get 8 boxes of free pasta.
Wednesday - Tuna casserole (We actually LOVE Tuna cass!) - I bought a 16 oz block of cheese for $2.50 and No-Yoke egg noodles for 50 cents because they were on sale and I had a coupon. I already have tuna and cream of mushroom soup from a previous shopping trip when they were on sale and I had coupons for them (do you see a trend happening:).
Thursday - Asian Sesame Chicken with broccoli and rice - Tyson all natural chicken is on sale for $1.99 per pound and I got the Lawry's Marinades for 50 cents a bottle because they were on sale and I had a coupon. I bought 2 bottles because I had 2 coupons so I will have it in my pantry for later as well. Broccoli crowns were on sale and I had 3 50 cent coupons for Mahatma rice, which was on sale for $1.09 each so I got 3 bags for 9 cents each.
Friday - Grill out Polish sausages - Carolina Pride products are buy 1 get 1 free and I had a coupon so I bought 2 packages of sausages to grill out. I have onions in the pantry to grill with these and buns in the freezers. I also have 2 sweet potatoes left form last week so I will put those on the grill also.
Saturday - Leftover day (i don't like to cook on Saturdays)
Sunday - Baked Potato Bar - A 10 lb bag of potatoes was $3.99. Cour cream was $1 for a 16 oz tub and I bought a pack of Carolina Pride bacon (just because it is buy 1 get 1 doesn't mean you have to buy 2. At Kroger and at Publix, you can just buy one item for half price.) I will have cheese left from the 16 oz bar that I bought and I have canned chili from a previous shopping trip. I will probably have enough broccoli left from Asian Chicken night to have that on the bar as well.
Breakfast - I got 2 boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats for $1.18 per box. On sale and I had coupons.
Lunch - Bread for $1.49. The Kroger Whole grain wheat bread uses very little sugar and uses whole grain and it's cheap. Skippy Natural Peanut Butter was $1.70 per jar because I had a coupon and on sale. I got 2 jars. We will also have leftovers from the night before's dinner.
Snacks - Tortilla chips were on sale for $1 a bag so I got 2 and salsa was on sale for $1 a jar also. I got the Kroger brand for both of these only because I know that I like the Kroger brand of salsa. I got bananas, they are always cheap and my girls love them.
In addition to this, I also bought milk, fresh tomatoes, 5 Suave deodorants for free, 3 McCormick Grill Mates seasoning for free, 2 boxes of 10 pk Capri Sun drinks for 79 cents a box, and I got a rain check for Angel soft bath tissue, which I will get for free next week because I have the coupons and they are on sale.
o that's how I was able to get more than a weeks worth of groceries for under $40. It takes me less than a hour to plan my meals for the week, print my list and clip my coupons. Considering this week, I saved $68.84, it's like I got paid $68 for that hour that I spent planning. I would say that it worth it!
If you have questions about my coupon system, then please comment! I will answer it the best I can.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Bronze Serpent
As you know, I am studying Moses in BSF this year. We are in Numbers now and a couple weeks ago we studied the story of the Bronze Serpent in Numbers 21:4 - 9. this must have seemed strange to Moses to be told to make a the bronze serpent for the Israelites to look at in order to be saved from the venomous bites of the snakes. He must have remembered the golden calf incident and wondered if this may be asking for trouble from this incredibly fickle group. I certainly thought is was weird. So I don't think God would do it if it didn't hold great meaning, and in fact, I believe it is a great prophecy.
The Israelites were discouraged, again, because they had no food or water. It didn't seem to matter to them that God had provided food and water every time they needed it over the last 40 years. God got mad at them, again, but this time he sent snakes to start biting them and the people began to die. The interesting thing isn't necessarily the fact that the snakes came, but that they had been in the desert for 40 years and hadn't had trouble with snakes before this. I have been to Arizona (closest thing to the desert that I know) and there are rattlesnakes everywhere! Anyway, Moses had to make a bronze serpent, the symbol of Satan and sin itself, and put it high on a pole and when the people looked at it, they would not die from the snakes' bite. Sound familiar?
I don't think it is a coincidence that 2 Corinthians 5: 21 says, "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (NKJV). The entire old testament is full of prophecies of Christ, but this one truly hit me in this Easter season. What a great visual that God had given to the Israelites. Jesus is the bronze serpent. He actually became sin and was put on the cross to save me from my own selfish desires; from my own sin.
How many times do I take for granted the miracles of God because they are so prevalent in my life that I just expect them to happen? How many times do I forget that GOD BECAME SIN? How many times do I forget that I am dead with Christ; that I only live because He chose me?
May I never take the everyday miracles for granted and never forget the extreme that You went to in order to save me from myself.
The Israelites were discouraged, again, because they had no food or water. It didn't seem to matter to them that God had provided food and water every time they needed it over the last 40 years. God got mad at them, again, but this time he sent snakes to start biting them and the people began to die. The interesting thing isn't necessarily the fact that the snakes came, but that they had been in the desert for 40 years and hadn't had trouble with snakes before this. I have been to Arizona (closest thing to the desert that I know) and there are rattlesnakes everywhere! Anyway, Moses had to make a bronze serpent, the symbol of Satan and sin itself, and put it high on a pole and when the people looked at it, they would not die from the snakes' bite. Sound familiar?
I don't think it is a coincidence that 2 Corinthians 5: 21 says, "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him." (NKJV). The entire old testament is full of prophecies of Christ, but this one truly hit me in this Easter season. What a great visual that God had given to the Israelites. Jesus is the bronze serpent. He actually became sin and was put on the cross to save me from my own selfish desires; from my own sin.
How many times do I take for granted the miracles of God because they are so prevalent in my life that I just expect them to happen? How many times do I forget that GOD BECAME SIN? How many times do I forget that I am dead with Christ; that I only live because He chose me?
May I never take the everyday miracles for granted and never forget the extreme that You went to in order to save me from myself.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Hebrews - part 5
Chapters 11 - 13 - Faith and instructions
11:1 - Faith = sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
11:3 - Just a little jab at evolution! - What is seen was made out of what is not visible.
11:4 - 38 - Faith without seeing the end result!
Abel
Noah
Abraham
Sarah
Isaac
Jacob
Joseph
Moses
Rahab
and Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets.
11:39 - These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised themselves.
11:40 - God had planned something better for us so that only together wit us would they be made perfect.
All these guys (and girls) were faithful without ever truly seeing success. They didn't live in the promised land, they did see Jesus Christ resurrected from the grave. The prophet Jeremiah obeyed God and warned the people for over 40 years and yet he died without seeing the people of Israel turn back to God.
*This is the kind of faith and obedience God requires of me. Do I only obey when I can see the promised end result? Or am I willing to obey even if I never see it?
12:5-6 - encouragement that we are disciplined
12:7-12 - Endure hardship as discipline. If we are not disciplined then we are illegitimate, therefore, praise God for discipline! Yes it's painful, but it produces righteousness and peace.
12:14 - 21 - We have not come to mt. Sinai, we are not under the wrath of God.
12:22 - 24 - But you have come to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant - Forgiveness!
Chapter 13 - Instructions
11:1 - Faith = sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
11:3 - Just a little jab at evolution! - What is seen was made out of what is not visible.
11:4 - 38 - Faith without seeing the end result!
Abel
Noah
Abraham
Sarah
Isaac
Jacob
Joseph
Moses
Rahab
and Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets.
11:39 - These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised themselves.
11:40 - God had planned something better for us so that only together wit us would they be made perfect.
All these guys (and girls) were faithful without ever truly seeing success. They didn't live in the promised land, they did see Jesus Christ resurrected from the grave. The prophet Jeremiah obeyed God and warned the people for over 40 years and yet he died without seeing the people of Israel turn back to God.
*This is the kind of faith and obedience God requires of me. Do I only obey when I can see the promised end result? Or am I willing to obey even if I never see it?
12:5-6 - encouragement that we are disciplined
12:7-12 - Endure hardship as discipline. If we are not disciplined then we are illegitimate, therefore, praise God for discipline! Yes it's painful, but it produces righteousness and peace.
12:14 - 21 - We have not come to mt. Sinai, we are not under the wrath of God.
12:22 - 24 - But you have come to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant - Forgiveness!
Chapter 13 - Instructions
- Love each other
- Entertain strangers (They may be angels!)
- Bear each others burdens
- Honor the law, especially as it relates to marriage, adultery and sexual immorality.
- Don't love money! - Be content
- Remember those who brought you to faith - imitate their faith.
- Don't be at home here on earth, remember we are looking for the city that is to come.
- Praise Jesus Christ!
- Share
- Obey your leaders - Don't be a burden to them
- Pray for others
13:20-21
May the God of peace equip you with everything good for doing His will. May He work in us what is pleasing to Him.
Amen.
Hebrews - part 4
Chapter 10 - What are we to do?
10:1-10 - We will never gain salvation through the law, or even trough obedience. Salvation is Jesus Christ's work alone - once for all - because it is a perfect sacrifice.
10:19 - 39 - What are we to do?
10:1-10 - We will never gain salvation through the law, or even trough obedience. Salvation is Jesus Christ's work alone - once for all - because it is a perfect sacrifice.
10:19 - 39 - What are we to do?
- Draw near to God in full assurance of faith
- Hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.
- Spur one another on toward love and good deeds
- Meet together, fellowship
- Encourage one another
- Don't deliberately keep sinning! Those who rejected the law died without mercy, how much more do we deserve if we trample on the Son of God Himself!
- Stand your ground for Jesus Christ and stand with those who are persecuted.
- Joyfully accept persecution and when earthly things are taken away, knowing that we have better and lasting possession in heaven.
- Be confident! We will be rewarded.
- Don't shrink back - We are delivered and saved.
Hebrews - Part 3
Chapter 8-9 - Jesus, the True Priest and the true tabernacle
8:1 - 2 This is the point! - We have a true priest, Jesus Christ and He sits at God's right hand and serves - He abides in the true tabernacle (God among His people) and that tabernacle is set up by God, not man.
8:5 - The earthly sanctuary is a copy of what is in heaven. God wanted the tabernacle of the Israelites in the desert to be beautiful because it is a symbol of hope and to give us a glimpse of what heaven will be like.
Imagine the tabernacle with all it's gold, silver, bronze and embroidery, without the massive amounts of blood from the sacrifices. And with the tapestry separating the Most Holy Place torn so we can enter. And there, instead of the ark, or maybe along with the ark, is God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit on their thrones; and we at last can see His face because we are in our glorified bodies and are finally without the curse of sin. The only blood is that which is on Jesus Christ Himself. I imagine that blood will be beautiful to us in that moment. The true moment of faith becoming sight. The first time we will truly worship. To see the face of God and live. To not just be surrounded by His Glory but engulfed in it, filled with it, able to taste it! I imagine taking communion there and Jesus Himself standing there with His arms outstretched saying, "this is my body, broken for you."
It reminds me of a song, "You're God in heaven and here am I on earth...now I'll let my words be few. Jesus, I am so in love with You."
8:1 - 2 This is the point! - We have a true priest, Jesus Christ and He sits at God's right hand and serves - He abides in the true tabernacle (God among His people) and that tabernacle is set up by God, not man.
8:5 - The earthly sanctuary is a copy of what is in heaven. God wanted the tabernacle of the Israelites in the desert to be beautiful because it is a symbol of hope and to give us a glimpse of what heaven will be like.
Imagine the tabernacle with all it's gold, silver, bronze and embroidery, without the massive amounts of blood from the sacrifices. And with the tapestry separating the Most Holy Place torn so we can enter. And there, instead of the ark, or maybe along with the ark, is God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit on their thrones; and we at last can see His face because we are in our glorified bodies and are finally without the curse of sin. The only blood is that which is on Jesus Christ Himself. I imagine that blood will be beautiful to us in that moment. The true moment of faith becoming sight. The first time we will truly worship. To see the face of God and live. To not just be surrounded by His Glory but engulfed in it, filled with it, able to taste it! I imagine taking communion there and Jesus Himself standing there with His arms outstretched saying, "this is my body, broken for you."
It reminds me of a song, "You're God in heaven and here am I on earth...now I'll let my words be few. Jesus, I am so in love with You."
Hebrews part 2
Chapter 7 - Melchizedek
7:17 - "For He testifies: "You are a priest forever, According to the order of Melchizedek."
Melchizedek is an important guy, obviously, if God chooses this to be the order that Jesus is a part of, but yet he does not have a lot of mention in the bible. There is no genealogy of Him and no record of his death. He had very little time on stage, so to speak. He was the priest that Abraham gave his tithe to, however, and this is the line that Jesus Christ is in the order of as a priest forever, as apposed to the Levitical priesthood.
*Time on stage doesn't equal importance to God. Obedience to His command, however big or small, is what matters to the one who sees all.
7:25 - Therefore, He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them.
* Jesus has conquered death
* Jesus intercedes for me! that means when I don't know what to say or how to pray, I can simply come, show up and ask Him to do the same. I can just say, "Lord, read my heart and intercede on my behalf." How refreshing to know that I don't have to have words to communicate with God.
7:17 - "For He testifies: "You are a priest forever, According to the order of Melchizedek."
Melchizedek is an important guy, obviously, if God chooses this to be the order that Jesus is a part of, but yet he does not have a lot of mention in the bible. There is no genealogy of Him and no record of his death. He had very little time on stage, so to speak. He was the priest that Abraham gave his tithe to, however, and this is the line that Jesus Christ is in the order of as a priest forever, as apposed to the Levitical priesthood.
*Time on stage doesn't equal importance to God. Obedience to His command, however big or small, is what matters to the one who sees all.
7:25 - Therefore, He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them.
* Jesus has conquered death
* Jesus intercedes for me! that means when I don't know what to say or how to pray, I can simply come, show up and ask Him to do the same. I can just say, "Lord, read my heart and intercede on my behalf." How refreshing to know that I don't have to have words to communicate with God.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Hebrews - part 1
Just finished Hebrews! Read it in one day, which I highly recommend. I have so much to talk about in this book I will just start with a few here and make this a 5 part series.
I will break this up into sections and just give the things that especially hit me in each section.
Hebrews 1 - 6
2:9 - "But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone."
* Jesus tasted death for me.
* He became lower than the angels. He left His seat at the right hand of God to do so.
2:11 - We are in God's family! Jesus Christ calls us brothers! WOW!
2:17 - He was fully man and fully God.
4:12 - The word is living and active. People who don't know the Lord read this as a book. When you have the Holy Spirit, it is a conversation with God.
4:12 - Nothing is hidden from God. Not my thoughts, good or bad. Not my feelings or desires and not y weaknesses or fears AND
*4:15 - Jesus Christ is able to sympathize with our weaknesses! What a Saviour!
5:8 Although He (JC) was a son, He learned obedience from what He suffered. ***GET THIS*** Jesus Christ LEARNED obedience from HIS suffering! Just let that sink in alittle.....
6:12 - "We do not want you to become lazy, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."
* We have salvation as a gift - no work required, but the Israelites had tons of work, bloody work. They did it to ensure the promised land and stave off death. We do it out of gratitude to Jesus Christ, out of our desire to say, "Thank You!" and because of the Holy Spirit living inside of us. But this verse, in essence, is saying that it is still work, it still requires effort. The Israelites had to put forth great effort and we should be willing to do the same, not out of fear of loosing our salvation, but out of gratitude for the work Jesus Christ has already done in us. As a thank you to Him for saving us from our wicked selves.
Part 2 will be chapter 7 - Melchizedek
Part 3 will be Chapter 8-9 - Jesus, the True Priest and the true tabernacle
Part 4 will be Chapter 10 - What are we to do?
Part 5 will be Chapter 11 - 13 - Faith and instructions
I will break this up into sections and just give the things that especially hit me in each section.
Hebrews 1 - 6
2:9 - "But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone."
* Jesus tasted death for me.
* He became lower than the angels. He left His seat at the right hand of God to do so.
2:11 - We are in God's family! Jesus Christ calls us brothers! WOW!
2:17 - He was fully man and fully God.
4:12 - The word is living and active. People who don't know the Lord read this as a book. When you have the Holy Spirit, it is a conversation with God.
4:12 - Nothing is hidden from God. Not my thoughts, good or bad. Not my feelings or desires and not y weaknesses or fears AND
*4:15 - Jesus Christ is able to sympathize with our weaknesses! What a Saviour!
5:8 Although He (JC) was a son, He learned obedience from what He suffered. ***GET THIS*** Jesus Christ LEARNED obedience from HIS suffering! Just let that sink in alittle.....
6:12 - "We do not want you to become lazy, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."
* We have salvation as a gift - no work required, but the Israelites had tons of work, bloody work. They did it to ensure the promised land and stave off death. We do it out of gratitude to Jesus Christ, out of our desire to say, "Thank You!" and because of the Holy Spirit living inside of us. But this verse, in essence, is saying that it is still work, it still requires effort. The Israelites had to put forth great effort and we should be willing to do the same, not out of fear of loosing our salvation, but out of gratitude for the work Jesus Christ has already done in us. As a thank you to Him for saving us from our wicked selves.
Part 2 will be chapter 7 - Melchizedek
Part 3 will be Chapter 8-9 - Jesus, the True Priest and the true tabernacle
Part 4 will be Chapter 10 - What are we to do?
Part 5 will be Chapter 11 - 13 - Faith and instructions
God, if this is not your will, take it away, because I won't see it
"God, if this is not your will, take it away, because I won't see it."
I have only sincerely prayed that prayer once in my life. It is a scary and big prayer especially when the thing you are praying it about is something you really really want to happen. It was several months before I was suppose to marry my college boyfriend. I already had my wedding dress and the flowers, cake and catering had been ordered. The brides maids were chosen and the honeymoon was booked. The invitations were at the printer and yet, I had secret doubts. They were doubts that I actually had often, but would never admit to anyone, including myself, except for this one brief and honest encounter with God.
I prayed that prayer and then my worst fear happened, God took him away. And just as I had said in the prayer, I did not see it. Truthfully, I didn't understand it for a long time. My world had been pulled apart. A year and a half later, I still did not understand it. I actually found a diary from that time in my life and this is what I wrote, "I'm tired of missing him. When does it end? I'm tired of hurting because of him. I just feel so jumbled up inside. I feel very fragile and weak and like there is no one to help me stand. I feel crazy. Maybe I need some sort of medicine."
And then, just as I had convinced myself that this was as good as it gets, and I would never find real love or passion again, I met Rich. Then the real miracle happened and God started drawing me back to Himself and for the first time, I made Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. I have been saved since I was 12 years old but it was not until this moment at age 26, almost 3 years after the "God take it away" prayer, did I commit to making Him Lord of my life. Then, I understood.
I understood that my former boyfriend/fiance had been my choice, not God's. I understood Jeremiah 29:11, "'for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" I understood that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I understood that His ways are way better than my ways! I understood that although I had NEVER been faithful, He always had. I understood that even when I don't understand, His will is still better than mine.
Hebrews 12:7-8,11 says "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons...No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
The bottom line is we are spoiled little brats who want our way and God has to get that out of us. And if we are truly His child, then He is committed to our discipline and He will continue until we have learned our lesson. The key is not to ask for God to stop the pain and suffering and just give us what we want, the key is to ask God to stop our want and make it His will.
I have only sincerely prayed that prayer once in my life. It is a scary and big prayer especially when the thing you are praying it about is something you really really want to happen. It was several months before I was suppose to marry my college boyfriend. I already had my wedding dress and the flowers, cake and catering had been ordered. The brides maids were chosen and the honeymoon was booked. The invitations were at the printer and yet, I had secret doubts. They were doubts that I actually had often, but would never admit to anyone, including myself, except for this one brief and honest encounter with God.
I prayed that prayer and then my worst fear happened, God took him away. And just as I had said in the prayer, I did not see it. Truthfully, I didn't understand it for a long time. My world had been pulled apart. A year and a half later, I still did not understand it. I actually found a diary from that time in my life and this is what I wrote, "I'm tired of missing him. When does it end? I'm tired of hurting because of him. I just feel so jumbled up inside. I feel very fragile and weak and like there is no one to help me stand. I feel crazy. Maybe I need some sort of medicine."
And then, just as I had convinced myself that this was as good as it gets, and I would never find real love or passion again, I met Rich. Then the real miracle happened and God started drawing me back to Himself and for the first time, I made Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. I have been saved since I was 12 years old but it was not until this moment at age 26, almost 3 years after the "God take it away" prayer, did I commit to making Him Lord of my life. Then, I understood.
I understood that my former boyfriend/fiance had been my choice, not God's. I understood Jeremiah 29:11, "'for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" I understood that His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. I understood that His ways are way better than my ways! I understood that although I had NEVER been faithful, He always had. I understood that even when I don't understand, His will is still better than mine.
Hebrews 12:7-8,11 says "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons...No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
The bottom line is we are spoiled little brats who want our way and God has to get that out of us. And if we are truly His child, then He is committed to our discipline and He will continue until we have learned our lesson. The key is not to ask for God to stop the pain and suffering and just give us what we want, the key is to ask God to stop our want and make it His will.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Leviticus
I just finished Leviticus in my BSF bible study. For many people it was grueling and they couldn't wait for it to be over. It is a very misunderstood book in the bible. I love Leviticus. The first time a studied it was at my old church in San Diego, Horizon Christian Fellowship. The pastor who did the study is a microbiologist and he had amazing insight into every aspect of every little instruction that God gave the Hebrews. He presented it as a book that is a guidebook to worship and a book of prophecy. This time around, I learned even more and Leviticus has once again changed the way I look at God and my relationship with Him. Here is some of what I've learned in the past few weeks in no particular order:
1. We are no longer under God's wrath, but under His grace. When the Israelites didn't obey God's commands He had a LONG list of devastating things that would happen to them. Now, although we may suffer great consequences for our sin, we do not live under the threat of Gd's ultimate wrath. When I go to God in prayer, no matter what state I am in currently, He sees me through the blood of His Son. He sees me as His own child, living in His complete grace. He wants to spend time with me. He meets me right where I am in whatever state I am in.
2. I am completely poor. I own nothing, and am owed nothing. Everything I have is given to me as a gift from God, including the very air I breath every day. Therefore, everything I have should be treated as God's property and taken care of in that way.
3. Israel was a theocracy. Because we are not, the US will never run like Israel did.
4. God dwelled among the people in the form of a cloud that was over the Tent of Meeting (Tabernacle). God wants to dwell among His people today, have I set Him a place in the center of my life? Do I act like He is dwelling among us and within me?
5. The Israelites had to wait for the cloud to move before they could move closer to the promised land and further on there journey. Do I wait for God to move in my life or do I try and force things, because I want something to go faster.
6. God spends a great deal of time teaching the Israelites lessons through waiting. Many of His commandments to them had to do with stopping, waiting and focusing on God, instead of themselves, work or anything else. God really, really means it. He really wants us to live a restful life and one focused on Him.
7. The only mention of retirement in the bible is to the Levites. They were told they had to retire at age 50. I think this means that God truly desires a life completely dedicated, and set apart for Him.
8. The book of Leviticus is almost entirely the exact words of God, more than any other book in the bible.
9. It took lots and lots of blood to cover sins. Thank God for Jesus.
10. God is a God of details, order, compassion, faith and holiness.
11. God asks us to be holy, set apart, and to be godly, to reflect His character. We learn of God's grace and love in the New Testament, but we learn God's character in the Old Testament. We are cheating ourselves and being short sided in our relationship with Him if we don't study both.
12. Hebrews is the new testament commentary to Leviticus. I am in the process of reading that now. I will write what I have learned from Hebrews when I am done.
God is good all the time.
1. We are no longer under God's wrath, but under His grace. When the Israelites didn't obey God's commands He had a LONG list of devastating things that would happen to them. Now, although we may suffer great consequences for our sin, we do not live under the threat of Gd's ultimate wrath. When I go to God in prayer, no matter what state I am in currently, He sees me through the blood of His Son. He sees me as His own child, living in His complete grace. He wants to spend time with me. He meets me right where I am in whatever state I am in.
2. I am completely poor. I own nothing, and am owed nothing. Everything I have is given to me as a gift from God, including the very air I breath every day. Therefore, everything I have should be treated as God's property and taken care of in that way.
3. Israel was a theocracy. Because we are not, the US will never run like Israel did.
4. God dwelled among the people in the form of a cloud that was over the Tent of Meeting (Tabernacle). God wants to dwell among His people today, have I set Him a place in the center of my life? Do I act like He is dwelling among us and within me?
5. The Israelites had to wait for the cloud to move before they could move closer to the promised land and further on there journey. Do I wait for God to move in my life or do I try and force things, because I want something to go faster.
6. God spends a great deal of time teaching the Israelites lessons through waiting. Many of His commandments to them had to do with stopping, waiting and focusing on God, instead of themselves, work or anything else. God really, really means it. He really wants us to live a restful life and one focused on Him.
7. The only mention of retirement in the bible is to the Levites. They were told they had to retire at age 50. I think this means that God truly desires a life completely dedicated, and set apart for Him.
8. The book of Leviticus is almost entirely the exact words of God, more than any other book in the bible.
9. It took lots and lots of blood to cover sins. Thank God for Jesus.
10. God is a God of details, order, compassion, faith and holiness.
11. God asks us to be holy, set apart, and to be godly, to reflect His character. We learn of God's grace and love in the New Testament, but we learn God's character in the Old Testament. We are cheating ourselves and being short sided in our relationship with Him if we don't study both.
12. Hebrews is the new testament commentary to Leviticus. I am in the process of reading that now. I will write what I have learned from Hebrews when I am done.
God is good all the time.
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