I need to confess. My reaction to the Miley Cyrus performance surprised me. I am not normally one of those people that are outraged by others' behavior. I am often the person saying that we cannot ask people who do not believe or serve the God I serve to obey the rules that He has set forth, when I myself cannot meet that standard and I have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. I am a full of mercy and grace kind of girl that takes our ability to choose our own life paths (right or wrong) very seriously.
But that Miley Cyrus struck a nerve. I watched in the video clip in awe, disgust, anger and sadness as she made a fool of herself. As the day went on, it only got worse as I learned that both her mother and Robin Thicke's wife had seen the rehearsal and no one sent up a red flag. By the time I was picking my girls up from school, I was in full fledged anger mode. Finally, this morning during my quiet time with God, I asked myself, "Why did this affect me so much? Why do I care? What is it about this situation that is causing such a strong emotional reaction inside of me?"
Here is my answer:
1. She is a little girl who most likely has no one speaking truth into her life. I know she's 20 and legally that makes her an adult. Do you remember when you were 20? At 20 I was away at FSU having the time of my life. I made some of the worst decisions in my life at age 20 and I actually have parents that care about my moral fiber! What I saw on that stage was not an adult who had made bad choices; I saw a little girl who no one cares enough about to tell her the truth. To tell her she is worth more than her body, her voice or the price that people will pay for her. A little girl who is crying out for someone to love her and instead of receiving love, is being handed a paycheck.
2. I am genuinely mad at her parents for not doing a better job. I know I don't know them and I am judging them. I understand that. I feel a little bad about that. It isn't even Mr. and Mrs. Cyrus that I am so upset with as it is this whole generation of parents who have believed the lie that it is more important for your child to be happy than it is for them to be healthy: both emotionally and physically. Parents, it is not your job to be your child's friend! It is your job to train them to be productive members of society, to make good decisions, so have a positive self-worth based on the only thing in our world that does not change: God. Stop trying to be their friend. Stop basing your own self-worth on whether or not your kid is happy. Happy isn't always right. Often, happy is destructive and counter productive. I am never happy when I go to gym. I don't go because I like it. I go because I have to for my body to be healthy. The same is true for our emotional and spiritual health. Sometimes the right decision is hard, not fun and takes 3 times the work. It is also worth it. Always. As my mama says, "nothing worth it ever comes easy."
3. I am upset because she IS a role model. Now, before you get all high and righteous on me and start telling me that I shouldn't have put this girl in the place of a role model, I didn't! I direct my girls to look at positive role models like their babysitters who are strong young women who have led lives of integrity and strength. We talk about women like Deborah, Ruth, Elizabeth and Mary in the bible. I point out women in history who have championed the causes of women's suffrage, better medicine and missionaries. I didn't put Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez in my daughters' heads as role models, but they do look up to them. That is a consequence of the fallen world we live in. Sadly, I don't have control over every thought in their heads. I see the look in their eyes when they watch them sing on stage and I will not turn a blind eye to that fact just because I say, "They are just singers, actresses or models; they are not people to aspire to be." Young girls look up to these girls. It is a fact that will not change. So that means that we as parents, have an even harder job. We must use these moments as teachable ones to show our girls what not to do; but also to teach them to show love and compassion for those whose lives are a living train wreck. It also means that we can't just sit back and blame her parents, judge Hollywood or simply point and tell our girls, "don't do that." We must be the change we want to see (didn't someone famous say that?). We must work harder to influence the world around us to want to be better and do better. We must be strong, secure, godly women who do not take short cuts or do what is right in our own eyes. We must care more about others than ourselves. We must care more about how our children turn out than whether they like us or not. I know I will never fully take away the fact that my girls will hear Miley Cyrus on the radio, sing her songs and a part of them will think how cool it would be to do that. But I do know that I can at least be a good enough role model and place good enough role models in their lives that when one of these "famous" role models fall, they will know for sure that they do not want to follow that path.
So today, I am no longer angry or even sad. Today, I am determined to be a better mother, role model and godly servant. Today, I am recommitting to my girls and to God to be the change I want to see in the world, and to show His love and grace, which is truly the only answer to all these woes.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Earning the Right to Share the Gospel
On Sunday, our pastor talked about salvation. He used Acts 16: 11 - 34, when Paul and Silas were put in jail in Phillippi. As I was reading the passages, it reminded me of how much I really like Paul. Paul was unapologetic about his faith and he would not be pushed around. He was humble before God yet confident in His position in Christ as a member of the Holy Priesthood.
He did preach the gospel at every turn and yet ironically, he was not preachy. This Acts story is a great example. Paul and Silas go down to the river "where prayer was customarily made" and talked with the women who met there. They went to a group of women whom they knew would be receptive to talking with them. They were careful to throw seeds to fertile soil. Lydia overheard them and consequently was saved and baptised. Too often we as Christians try to force the message of salvation onto infertile soil. We do this because we get our role mixed up with the Holy Spirit's role. We somehow think that it is our job to get people saved when that is the furthest thing from the truth! Our job is to be witnesses, to be available, to obey, to be confident in our position in Christ, to show love, to be the vessel to show His light, to ultimately bring glory to God through our lives. It is the Holy Spirit's job to soften hearts, draw people to Himself and to ultimately give them the saving knowledge that Jesus is salvation. It is an amazing thing to see; that moment when someone realizes that true hope eternal does exist, that salvation is theirs for the taking, but we as Christians are just the messenger, we are not the ones who did that work. So when we try and force the message of Jesus and salvation onto those whose hearts and minds have not been readied to receive it by the Holy Spirit, we might as well be preaching salvation to a rock.
My first lesson from Paul and Silas in this story: Be aware of my audience. Seek an audience prepared to hear and allow The Holy Spirit to be in charge of who is in ear shot. It doesn't mean that God's not going to use me to bring the message of salvation to a stranger, it just means its not my job to pick that stranger, it's His.
In verses 16-18, Paul got annoyed with a woman who was possessed. She followed them for days yelling, "These men re the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation." Why would this annoy Paul? It was a true statement after all. That was in fact the mission of Paul and Silas; they had dedicated their entire lives to spreading the Good News of the Gospel. But this spirit inside this woman knew something that we need to remember, the gospel message spread on infertile soil is not ignored, it is offensive. The spirit in the woman knew that by proclaiming this at random to the people would cause the people to distrust Paul and Silas before they even said a word. So Paul remedies the problem and casts out the demon.
My second lesson: trying to give the message of salvation to those who are not ready to hear is not useless, it can be detrimental. We might not be able to do the work of the Holy Spirit, but we sure can get in His way and make it much harder.
The result of Paul saving this woman from possession of a demon was Paul and Silas were honored with being arrested, beaten and thrown in jail. Paul had messed with some pretty influential guys cash flow and they were not going to let that go unpunished.
Lesson number three: doing God's work doesn't always produce the outcome that we might expect. Actually, it almost never produces the outcome we expect. We are small minded humans and God is huge minded, amazing and all powerful.
Just because we didn't expect this outcome, doesn't men that God didn't. This in fact was God's plan all along! God knew that the only way to soften the heart of a Roman jailer was a huge act of mercy, so He allowed Paul and Silas to be beaten and thrown in jail. He then allowed a great earthquake to release the chains that bound them and open the doors to the prison. God also knew that Paul and Silas would have the discernment of the Holy Spirit to know they needed to stay in that jail and they would be able to convince all the other prisoners to stay in that jail in order to save the life of the very man who had beaten every single person in the prison. I can only imagine how strong the presence of the Holy Spirit must have been at midnight in that Roman jail in Philippi when a broken, tired and bloody duo came in, were locked into stocks and began to sing hymns of praise. Can you see the hardened faces of the prisoners softening and wondering, 'what on earth would cause these two to sing praise songs?' I wonder what Paul and Silas said to them after the earthquake to convince them to stay? They were all criminals after all; I doubt they were staying out of a sense of morality. Had Paul and Silas's singing caused the others to begin to ask questions?
So the jailer was about to kill himself when he heard Paul say that all the prisoners were still there. The jailer runs in and sees that it is true and then asks THE QUESTION, "what must I do to be saved?" Ahh, the soil was fertile. The amazing act of mercy along with the unashamed praises to their King had earned Paul and Silas the right to preach the gospel. The result was an entire household being saved and probably a few of those prisoners.
Lesson four: willing obedience to God regardless of the consequences always leads to a greater result that we could ever imagine.
Lesson five: acts of mercy often lead to Christians earning the right to share the gospel to fertile soil.
Lesson six: Praise God all the time, no matter what, no matter where. He really is the reason I am alive and He is always ALWAYS worthy of praise.
I want to be God's witness and vessel to share His Gospel. I don't want to be a road block to people on their way to meeting Jesus.
He did preach the gospel at every turn and yet ironically, he was not preachy. This Acts story is a great example. Paul and Silas go down to the river "where prayer was customarily made" and talked with the women who met there. They went to a group of women whom they knew would be receptive to talking with them. They were careful to throw seeds to fertile soil. Lydia overheard them and consequently was saved and baptised. Too often we as Christians try to force the message of salvation onto infertile soil. We do this because we get our role mixed up with the Holy Spirit's role. We somehow think that it is our job to get people saved when that is the furthest thing from the truth! Our job is to be witnesses, to be available, to obey, to be confident in our position in Christ, to show love, to be the vessel to show His light, to ultimately bring glory to God through our lives. It is the Holy Spirit's job to soften hearts, draw people to Himself and to ultimately give them the saving knowledge that Jesus is salvation. It is an amazing thing to see; that moment when someone realizes that true hope eternal does exist, that salvation is theirs for the taking, but we as Christians are just the messenger, we are not the ones who did that work. So when we try and force the message of Jesus and salvation onto those whose hearts and minds have not been readied to receive it by the Holy Spirit, we might as well be preaching salvation to a rock.
My first lesson from Paul and Silas in this story: Be aware of my audience. Seek an audience prepared to hear and allow The Holy Spirit to be in charge of who is in ear shot. It doesn't mean that God's not going to use me to bring the message of salvation to a stranger, it just means its not my job to pick that stranger, it's His.
In verses 16-18, Paul got annoyed with a woman who was possessed. She followed them for days yelling, "These men re the servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to us the way of salvation." Why would this annoy Paul? It was a true statement after all. That was in fact the mission of Paul and Silas; they had dedicated their entire lives to spreading the Good News of the Gospel. But this spirit inside this woman knew something that we need to remember, the gospel message spread on infertile soil is not ignored, it is offensive. The spirit in the woman knew that by proclaiming this at random to the people would cause the people to distrust Paul and Silas before they even said a word. So Paul remedies the problem and casts out the demon.
My second lesson: trying to give the message of salvation to those who are not ready to hear is not useless, it can be detrimental. We might not be able to do the work of the Holy Spirit, but we sure can get in His way and make it much harder.
The result of Paul saving this woman from possession of a demon was Paul and Silas were honored with being arrested, beaten and thrown in jail. Paul had messed with some pretty influential guys cash flow and they were not going to let that go unpunished.
Lesson number three: doing God's work doesn't always produce the outcome that we might expect. Actually, it almost never produces the outcome we expect. We are small minded humans and God is huge minded, amazing and all powerful.
Just because we didn't expect this outcome, doesn't men that God didn't. This in fact was God's plan all along! God knew that the only way to soften the heart of a Roman jailer was a huge act of mercy, so He allowed Paul and Silas to be beaten and thrown in jail. He then allowed a great earthquake to release the chains that bound them and open the doors to the prison. God also knew that Paul and Silas would have the discernment of the Holy Spirit to know they needed to stay in that jail and they would be able to convince all the other prisoners to stay in that jail in order to save the life of the very man who had beaten every single person in the prison. I can only imagine how strong the presence of the Holy Spirit must have been at midnight in that Roman jail in Philippi when a broken, tired and bloody duo came in, were locked into stocks and began to sing hymns of praise. Can you see the hardened faces of the prisoners softening and wondering, 'what on earth would cause these two to sing praise songs?' I wonder what Paul and Silas said to them after the earthquake to convince them to stay? They were all criminals after all; I doubt they were staying out of a sense of morality. Had Paul and Silas's singing caused the others to begin to ask questions?
So the jailer was about to kill himself when he heard Paul say that all the prisoners were still there. The jailer runs in and sees that it is true and then asks THE QUESTION, "what must I do to be saved?" Ahh, the soil was fertile. The amazing act of mercy along with the unashamed praises to their King had earned Paul and Silas the right to preach the gospel. The result was an entire household being saved and probably a few of those prisoners.
Lesson four: willing obedience to God regardless of the consequences always leads to a greater result that we could ever imagine.
Lesson five: acts of mercy often lead to Christians earning the right to share the gospel to fertile soil.
Lesson six: Praise God all the time, no matter what, no matter where. He really is the reason I am alive and He is always ALWAYS worthy of praise.
I want to be God's witness and vessel to share His Gospel. I don't want to be a road block to people on their way to meeting Jesus.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Hello 2013
In my quest to set some new goals for this year, I stumbled on my blog. I haven't written here since 2010 which isn't all that surprising, considering how crazy 2011 & 2012 were for me. One of my goals for 2013, however, is to start writing again. In order to do that, I am going to give a very brief rundown of the experiences and challenges of the last 2 years:
2011 - The year started out pretty well and then, just before Easter, the rug was pulled out from under me along with many of the people I know. The Pastor of the church that Rich and I had attended and help build for the last 5 years admitted to a 2 and a half year affair with his assistant. That in of itself would have been bad enough, but his wife is one of my best friends. The result of this admission meant the end of that church as we knew it. The church itself did move on under the directions and leadership of another church and today it is a growing vibrant church. the former pastor and his wife began the long hard road to reconciliation and I am happy to say that today they are doing quite well. Rich and I however, were both very clearly told by God that our time at that church was over and we were to move on.
Everything in our life at the time was wrapped up in that church. Our friendships, our community service, our social lives and our spiritual growth. I honestly couldn't imagine my life any differently so this call to leave was devastating. But we were strong enough in our faith and feared God just enough to obey so we did. This came at a bigger cost than I expected. We had not only lost our church, which was a great source of security for us, we began loosing most of our friends.
2012 - This year began with a "Good Riddance" party to 2011 and a renewed hope for 2012. After a great deal of rather painful searching, we finally found the church that God was sending us to, Cartersville First Baptist Church. We were both surprised, quite frankly, because it is a very traditional church. Having grown up in a traditional Baptist church, I was completely comfortable. I welcomed the structure of Sunday School, Choir led worship and Wednesday night supper at the church, but this was all foreign to my husband who did not go to church growing up and was born and raised in Southern California.
Once again, Rich and I both heard God very clearly. This was the church He had for us, and He was putting us into a time of rest and renewal, preparing us for a much bigger assignment to come. Over this last year, we have seen God be faithful in that. He has given us rest, renewal, wisdom and a clarity of His word.
I have come to realize that my life and my efforts were in need of re centering. I was spending so much time on things outside my family and my marriage that I had neglected the very ministry that God had told me to put first. I was so focused on having a big group of friends who all loved me and having a large social agenda that I wasn't being a good mother, wife or true friend to anyone. I had neglected my parents whom we had moved to Georgia to be near in the first place.
This past year, I have spent time correcting those things. I spend much more time with my kids, enjoying them, playing with them and praying for them. I have concentrated on my relationship with my husband which has been wonderful and hard all at the same time. We have grown a great deal and all growth involves growing pains. We have spent more time with my parents nurturing and growing those relationships. I have allowed God to order my outside friendships and I have concentrated on the few that He has allowed to remain from my past and the wonderful new ones He has gifted to me. I have come to realize that my self worth is not in the number of people who like me, but in my relationship to Christ and in my ability to be a good friend to others.
2012 did have some other big hurdles: Rich had a second cancer scare and we had to end a relationship with a young adult that we had mentored for several years, but these events proved to strengthen our faith and our ability to trust and obey God, even when we didn't fully understand. It has been a great source of comfort and strength to be able to look back over these last 2 years and see how much God has grown my faith, my trust and my willingness to obey.
So as 2013 begins, I am beginning with a renewed spirit. I am content in the period of rest that God has placed me in and I will be ready to take on the next assignment He gives us. Until that big assignment comes, I will serve the ones He puts before me and remain ready to say yes, no matter what the call.
2011 - The year started out pretty well and then, just before Easter, the rug was pulled out from under me along with many of the people I know. The Pastor of the church that Rich and I had attended and help build for the last 5 years admitted to a 2 and a half year affair with his assistant. That in of itself would have been bad enough, but his wife is one of my best friends. The result of this admission meant the end of that church as we knew it. The church itself did move on under the directions and leadership of another church and today it is a growing vibrant church. the former pastor and his wife began the long hard road to reconciliation and I am happy to say that today they are doing quite well. Rich and I however, were both very clearly told by God that our time at that church was over and we were to move on.
Everything in our life at the time was wrapped up in that church. Our friendships, our community service, our social lives and our spiritual growth. I honestly couldn't imagine my life any differently so this call to leave was devastating. But we were strong enough in our faith and feared God just enough to obey so we did. This came at a bigger cost than I expected. We had not only lost our church, which was a great source of security for us, we began loosing most of our friends.
2012 - This year began with a "Good Riddance" party to 2011 and a renewed hope for 2012. After a great deal of rather painful searching, we finally found the church that God was sending us to, Cartersville First Baptist Church. We were both surprised, quite frankly, because it is a very traditional church. Having grown up in a traditional Baptist church, I was completely comfortable. I welcomed the structure of Sunday School, Choir led worship and Wednesday night supper at the church, but this was all foreign to my husband who did not go to church growing up and was born and raised in Southern California.
Once again, Rich and I both heard God very clearly. This was the church He had for us, and He was putting us into a time of rest and renewal, preparing us for a much bigger assignment to come. Over this last year, we have seen God be faithful in that. He has given us rest, renewal, wisdom and a clarity of His word.
I have come to realize that my life and my efforts were in need of re centering. I was spending so much time on things outside my family and my marriage that I had neglected the very ministry that God had told me to put first. I was so focused on having a big group of friends who all loved me and having a large social agenda that I wasn't being a good mother, wife or true friend to anyone. I had neglected my parents whom we had moved to Georgia to be near in the first place.
This past year, I have spent time correcting those things. I spend much more time with my kids, enjoying them, playing with them and praying for them. I have concentrated on my relationship with my husband which has been wonderful and hard all at the same time. We have grown a great deal and all growth involves growing pains. We have spent more time with my parents nurturing and growing those relationships. I have allowed God to order my outside friendships and I have concentrated on the few that He has allowed to remain from my past and the wonderful new ones He has gifted to me. I have come to realize that my self worth is not in the number of people who like me, but in my relationship to Christ and in my ability to be a good friend to others.
2012 did have some other big hurdles: Rich had a second cancer scare and we had to end a relationship with a young adult that we had mentored for several years, but these events proved to strengthen our faith and our ability to trust and obey God, even when we didn't fully understand. It has been a great source of comfort and strength to be able to look back over these last 2 years and see how much God has grown my faith, my trust and my willingness to obey.
So as 2013 begins, I am beginning with a renewed spirit. I am content in the period of rest that God has placed me in and I will be ready to take on the next assignment He gives us. Until that big assignment comes, I will serve the ones He puts before me and remain ready to say yes, no matter what the call.
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