This morning I am anxiously waiting the return of my two little girls. They have been at camp all week and I haven't spoken to them even once. This is the longest I have ever gone without hearing their little voices.
I know they are fine, the counselors did a great job at posting pictures and showing what a great time they had. They probably didn't miss me for one little second, but I must admit this has been the hardest week for me. The worries creep in: What if they need me? What if they get hurt? What if someone is mean to them? What if they.... you know the drill.
I have told other parents (and myself) over and over that our job as parents is to raise our children to become productive members of society; and as a parent to two girls, I must also raise strong confident independent women. Independent. That means not in need of others...not in need of me. I hate that part. I want them to need me. I want them to run to me when they are hurt, scared, angry, confused, happy, joyful, content.
But my job is to teach them to be able to handle hurt, scary things, confusion, anger, happiness, joy and contentment without me, but with a reliance on God alone. The bible even promises I will fail them: Psalm 27:10 (NKJV) "When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me."
Did you notice that verse says "when"? Not if, not maybe, not just in case, WHEN. I will fail my kids and so will you. I am human. Thank God He is not.
I want them to grow up, and become the wonderful women that God has created them to be, but wow; the process, the act of them leaving; emotionally, intellectually and physically is really hard and really hurts. It truly is not for the faint of heart. I rely on God for the strength to do it everyday.
I pray I don't coddle them too much or too little. I pray I don't shelter them too much or too little. I pray that I will do what my mother taught me: To rely on God alone, get my strength, my self worth and my wisdom from Him to make it through this parenting thing.
And I am reminded by my precious Savior that He Loves Them More Than I Do! What a wonderfully comforting thought in the times I feel helpless and unable to control the surroundings and circumstances of my children.
Lord, may we all survive; no, may we all thrive in this season of growing up and becoming independent, powerful, godly women.
